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24

Feb

Shortly after moving to NYC I ran into Moby at the LES location. I was looking down trying to will an erection away and he was on the phone. I blame him. He was exiting from the NW corner’s entry-only door. I said ‘sorry?’ and my eyes must’ve widened or something because he gave me a pretty genuine smile. Running into Moby in the LES is not a big deal. Everyone does it. But physically running into Moby in the LES is a very big deal: when our foreheads konked I touched someone who’s touched Natalie Portman’s vagina. I won’t do much better without catching a charge or licking Brian Austin Green’s fingertips. I’ll also give Moby this: he’s taller than I thought he’d be. I just broke out a ruler and even with my head fully lowered, I can’t headbutt anyone under 5’7”.

Shortly after moving to NYC I ran into Moby at the LES location. I was looking down trying to will an erection away and he was on the phone. I blame him. He was exiting from the NW corner’s entry-only door. I said ‘sorry?’ and my eyes must’ve widened or something because he gave me a pretty genuine smile.

Running into Moby in the LES is not a big deal. Everyone does it. But physically running into Moby in the LES is a very big deal: when our foreheads konked I touched someone who’s touched Natalie Portman’s vagina. I won’t do much better without catching a charge or licking Brian Austin Green’s fingertips.

I’ll also give Moby this: he’s taller than I thought he’d be. I just broke out a ruler and even with my head fully lowered, I can’t headbutt anyone under 5’7”.

  1. celebritiesisawatwholefoods posted this

3 years ago Short URL 2 notes

brian austin green/moby/natalie portman/whole foods/